Releasing Kate Page 6

  Chapter Five

  When Kate didn’t speak he continued, “There are women who enjoy being dominated, not only enjoy it, but thrive under domination, only becoming sexually fulfilled if a man is in control, possessing and owning them. I want those women. I need those women. I’m only satisfied by domination,” Michael’s eyes seemed to pierce Kate’s defenses. “I know we work together and I’m your boss so that creates other problems but if you are interested in experimenting, we could work something out. Are you interested?” he asked, his soft voice contrasting with the hard gleam in his eyes.

  “No! That’s rape,” Kate said, gesturing toward his collection.

  “Rape occurs when a woman does not consent. That’s submission,” he stated emphatically.

  “What’s the difference?” Kate asked before she could stop herself.

  He smiled, “Submission occurs with a woman’s permission. Not only does she want to submit, she craves it and needs it. She is never really satisfied without the domination of a strong man. It is an integral part of her persona. Haven’t you ever felt the need to be dominated? Are you interested in exploring that part of your sexuality?”

  “I saw my mother hurt like that and I don’t believe any woman would willingly choose that kind of pain and humiliation. I know I’m not interested.”

  “Your mother? Your biological mother?”

  “I don’t want to talk about my family,” Kate said, ignoring a wave of regret. Submission made a woman a sex object rather than a willing partner. Kate couldn’t, she wouldn’t ignore all her beliefs for a fling with any man. Yet she was curious and felt comfortable enough to ask her questions. “You could have nearly any female you want. Why do you prefer a type of sex that is not socially acceptable? Why do you want to subjugate a woman?”

  “There are many societies, Kate. Sexual exploration of all kinds, including domination, is valued in my culture. I come from a long line of strong males. It’s bred into me. In our enclave in the mountains, this type of sex is normal. The women crave submission and pain every bit as much as the males crave to dominate. It’s our heritage.”

  “That sounds like a cult. I think it’s time we leave.” She turned toward the door. Michael reached out and put a hand on her arm, stopping her movement.

  “It’s not a cult. It’s biological.” Michael shrugged. “I learned at an early age who I am and what I like. I like subjugating women. I don’t do vanilla sex. I’ll go without if I’m between females who can handle my needs.” Michael’s gaze held Kate pinned.

  Michael closed his eyes and shook his head. He let her go and paced the room. “During sex, I make the rules. I don’t have to worry about playing fair or containing my energies in the sense that sex is a physical battle. I can only be free when I am dominating a woman because I know at some point I will be able to unleash all my energies and my woman will thrive under my power. I can’t separate mind and body. They are one and I make sure my women know that and feel that integration that your culture ignores.” He turned and pinned her again. “Does any of this make sense to you?”

  Kate met his gaze. Stunned by his passion, she realized she’d never thought of what it meant to be a male in this culture—a feminist culture that proclaimed nurturing, communication and cooperation as religious truths. It was a culture that discounted the nature of males.

  Before Kate could respond, he continued. “When I see a woman tied to my bed, I feel powerful. That’s my reality. When I hear a woman moaning and screaming and pleading with me to satisfy her, I feel powerful. In those moments, the energies that wash through me are channeled and controlled. I never feel out of control. The woman is though. She can’t stop her emotions from breaking free and all her thoughts are focused on her body and what I’m doing. Kate, have you ever surrendered completely?” he asked in a whisper.

  Kate closed her eyes and struggled to remain standing. Her knees were weak and her breath short. She didn’t want to answer his question. She wanted to tell him she never gave up control. She knew he could take her to a place where her every action would be a response to his and that place frightened her. She didn’t rely on any man enough to go there. Did she? Kate felt him move in front of her. She felt his hand on her face—a light touch, just barely a whispered graze.

  “Kate, do you want to test your limits?”

  Kate kept her eyes closed, as if she could close him out of her mind by the simple action.

  “Kate, look at me,” he said.

  Kate shook her head, still trying to escape his words.

  His finger tilted her chin.

  She opened her eyes just as his lips descended. Hard, warm and gentle lips lightly pressed hers. Kate melted and opened her mouth to deepen the kiss. He pulled back. She couldn’t stop the moan that escaped.

  “I already told you, I don’t do vanilla sex, Kate. Pleasure is only one component of what you’re capable of feeling. Why ignore the other half of your sensory potential? Sex is on my terms or not at all.”

  “But you want me.”

  “Oh yes, I want you very much…but on my terms, not yours.”

  “Your games look far too scary for me.”

  “Don’t you trust me?”

  Kate took a deep breath, fighting to regain her equilibrium. “I don’t trust any man that much.”

  Michael smiled a little and shrugged. “Think about what I’ve said. I’m sorry you aren’t interested in testing your limits tonight. Let’s go to dinner.”

  Michael hid his disappointment. He’d never met a woman quite like Kate. The women in his clan met his advances with joyful submission. Despite being feminine and curvy, Kate was also independent and focused. She wasn’t compliant and cooperative.

  Outside the clan, Michael’s looks and manner meant that he rarely had to pursue a woman for very long before she surrendered to him. Indeed, he often had to fight off advances. He wasn’t into casual sex. His needs were too dark to display them before just anyone. He’d never had to chase before. Normally he accepted any woman’s emphatic declaration that she didn’t want pain but he knew Kate was lying to herself. He craved her submission in the way that only happened with clan women.

  He’d watched Kate’s face and eyes as she’d explored his collection. It aroused her. The thought of a strong Dominant aroused her. She wasn’t as put off by the thought of pain as she claimed. She’d thrive under his control. Clearly though, she wasn’t just going to cave, but neither was he.

  He was tempted by her offer to just fuck her. He knew the sex would be good—physically. Physicality wasn’t enough for him though. He wanted her mind. He wanted her every thought and desire centered on him. He knew he tended to be self-centered and arrogant. No woman had made him itch and ache the way Kate did.

  At least she had no awareness of her effect on him. If she knew how close to the edge he was, she’d probably force the issue. Regular sex wouldn’t satisfy him for long. They’d have a quick fuck and be done. That wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted a long-term relationship—a long-term Dominant/submissive relationship with his mate. A relationship where he felt everything happening to her even as she experienced his body as if it were her own. He wanted her living with him and linked to him in every way.

  The stunt in the parking garage on the first day they’d met had nearly sent him over the edge. He’d taken his anger out on George. He couldn’t afford to give in to his need for Kate. He walked a fine line between coercion and encouragement. He wanted women who accepted and liked his need for control. Women who would submit to his dark desires because theirs were the same.

  When he’d entered puberty his father had explained their heritage. Accepted sexual practices weren’t necessarily enough to create the telepathic link that was vital to their survival. The full exploration of sensation was inherent in their sexual practices. People without their ancestry could never understand that sex without both pain and pleasure would be like an intravenous feeding—no taste or texture.

  When he’d
left the clan, his father had warned him that the women he met might satisfy him for a few weeks but that no relationship would last. His father had been right.

  To survive outside Sanctuary, Michael had joined a couple of bondage and Domination clubs. They taught him his desires were real and he was only truly satisfied when exercising dominion over a woman. Unfortunately, the club’s rules and regulations—negotiating scenes and outlining everything—left him craving more. He knew the more was the mental link that could be forged with a mate. A link that would allow him to feel her pain, to feel her needs and limits.

  The clubs were too tame for him. Besides, he’d just get a scene warmed up nicely when it ended. He wanted—no, he needed—long-term commitment. The longest he’d kept a woman had been a week. He wanted more and he knew Kate was just the woman to provide him with what he craved. She just didn’t know it yet.

  As a master strategist, he was used to long-term planning. He just needed to bring his skills to bear on Kate. He needed to proceed slowly but he could up the stakes and push a little harder. She was hesitating and wavering. She needed a few more nudges. He could and would rein in his desires until he could make a quick trip to the clan enclave. He needed to find evidence of Kate’s ancestry.

  His visit to the clan enclave wouldn’t include physical sex. Kate was his mate, he didn’t want anyone else. The visit would allow him to mentally ride the thoughts and feelings of others in Sanctuary. It would feel like a release. It would be enough to tide him over until he could fully mate with Kate. But before he left he’d make sure Kate would miss him.

  * * * * *

  Michael touched Kate often. He held her arm when they walked down hallways. He guided her through doorways and managed to brush her breasts as he held doors. He always guided her to a chair. He touched her hand as he gave her coffee. He crowded her as they looked for files. He always stood in her personal space until finally she simply grew accustomed to his presence. He wore down her control.

  She accepted his touch and came to expect him always to be near. At no point did he ever make a gesture or touch that was over the line. Every move was explainable. His presence drove her crazy.

  She could smell his heady, arousing cedar scent. It enveloped her whenever he was near. She got so she could smell him before she even knew he was close. Kate could feel him. Kate could see him. Much as she longed to touch him, she resisted. She didn’t dare touch him. She was afraid she’d beg if she did. Michael aroused her and she wanted him but thoughts of his preferences held her back.

  At home, alone at night, she masturbated. She pretended Michael’s warmth filled her rather than a cold dildo. Kate couldn’t stop thinking about sex, specifically sex with Michael. She debated calling an old boyfriend. It had been months since she’d had sex with a man. She wanted sex. She needed sex. She needed Michael. Another man just wouldn’t satisfy her.

  One day Michael asked, “Have you changed your mind yet?”

  Kate stared at him helplessly and her cunt tightened in arousal. She countered, “How about just regular sex?”

  He just smiled and said, “You’d be bored.”

  Kate took that to mean that he’d be bored. She sighed and went back to work, trying to push her arousal down into a forgettable location.

  Just when she thought she’d explode, Michael went out of town.

  He told her he had some family business to take care of. In some ways it was a relief to be away from him, yet she missed him and she missed the tension between them.

  A week later, Michael came back. Kate wanted to run to him and hug him. He was becoming a very important part of her life despite the fact she rarely saw him outside work.

  Michael seemed glad to see Kate too. He told her to come to his office. He had a surprise for her. When she entered his office, he sat her in a chair and told her about his trip. Then he said, “I bought you a present.”

  “A present? For me?” Kate was startled. Despite the fact they both knew they could be intimate if things were different, Kate truly believed he wasn’t going to make a move on her. Somehow the idea of a present made it seem as though they were in the courting stage of a relationship—an impossible relationship given their different perspectives on sex.

  “Yes, for you,” he said as he handed Kate a silver package—weighty and expensively wrapped. When she started to open it, he stayed her hand, “No, open it at home.”

  Kate raised an eyebrow.

  “This is part of your education,” he said. “You’ll enjoy it more if there are no witnesses, especially me.”

  Kate rushed home, curious about the present, unable to wait to open it. As the wrapping came undone, the first thing she saw was the gilded edges of the book. An expensive present, she thought as the leather binding peeked out of the silver paper. Then she read the title and froze.

  Boldly embossed into the leather were the words, The Joy of Submission.

  Startled, Kate dropped the book. It opened to a picture of a woman bent over something resembling an altar. Chains ran from the floor to her arms and legs. Her hair hung free and reached the floor. Whip marks covered her back. A man stood behind her, his hand held a gigantic curved dildo as large as the woman’s arm. The entire scene painted an erotic image of what he could do with her in that position, with that weapon in his hand. Kate’s sharp arousal nearly made her pass out from excitement.

  She took a quick breath and turned the page, imagining that the next photo would show what happened. It didn’t. Instead, the next page had a different image. This time the woman was on her knees. Her arms bound behind her back caused her breasts to thrust out, defying gravity. At the same time that her posture proclaimed her pride, her head hung down. Three men were next to her. One man held pincers near her extended nipple. One man held a glowing brand aimed at her stomach. The third man was shaving her pubic hair. Kate couldn’t breathe.

  She shut the book and dropped it on the floor, closed this time. She shut her eyes but the images remained. She slowly stood. Her knees weak, she took a moment to gain her balance and then gingerly stepped over the book as if it could suddenly come alive and chain her.

  She went into the bathroom. Still unsteady, she undressed and took a shower. She finished her after-work routine and left the book lying in the living room. She knew she should move it, but she simply didn’t want to touch it.

  He had no right to give her such a gift but as she tried to sleep, the ache in her pelvis demanded attention. She couldn’t satisfy herself. She tried her hand. She tried her dildo. She tried a vibrator and finally had an orgasm. Yet she still felt fevered and unsatisfied.

  Finally, she surrendered. She got up and grabbed the book. She opened the cover and saw the inscription Michael had written. You might find page fifty-four interesting. I know who you are and someday you will realize you want to meet my terms. I anticipate that day.

  The inscription promised and threatened at the same time. She shuddered, thinking about his collection. She didn’t think she would ever reach the point of allowing him the freedom he demanded. She could resist his gentle, insistent seduction. To do otherwise was unthinkable, but would it hurt just to look?

  Kate hesitated, fingers trembling, then she turned to page fifty-four and gasped. It was a picture of her. She looked closer and realized the background and the garments indicated an earlier age. And could it be? Yes! The woman was wearing Kate’s necklace. The necklace had been found in the car wreck. The stolen car had contained no other clues to Kate’s ancestry. Was it possible? Was this woman related to her? Did Michael know her family? She shoved aside the disturbing thought that her relative might be part of the mysterious clan to which Michael occasionally referred.

  Kate frowned as she turned to the table of contents and realized that the book detailed every aberrant sexual act she could think of, as well as a few she’d never imagined. She flipped the pages. Not only did the book contain pictures, it contained detailed descriptions as well.

  How dare h
e? She knew that all she had to do was destroy the book yet was somehow unable to let it go. She felt her cunt clench at the thought of being in some of the positions depicted in the book. She insisted to herself that she did still have control even though she was no longer sure she wanted it.

  The book haunted her that night. Had it always been like that? Had there always been a blending of violence and sex? Kate understood that rape was an act of violence, not sex. Rape was pure masculine domination with no thought for the woman. It was not sex. It was violence. Michael did not want rape. He wanted cooperation.

  Why did she find the book and his statues so erotic? They promised adrenaline rushing through her body, turning off her head. They promised feeling without any social restrictions boxing her into a lifeless corner. Kate admitted she found the concept more and more seductive. How often did she just feel? How often did she turn her mind off? How often did she forget to worry about how others saw her? How often did she stop the internal dialogue that constantly monitored her every action, analyzing and evaluating?

  Michael promised she wouldn’t worry about that when she was with him. She didn’t like the thought of pain but increasingly she found Michael’s promise seductive and nearly irresistible. What would happen during sex if he actually could turn off her thoughts? If for once in her life she could just feel and give expression to those feelings? She wanted to know.

  Chapter Six

  Kate spent Saturday unsuccessfully trying to get erotic thoughts of Michael out of her head. She imagined what Michael would do to her. She dreamed of his lips on hers. She dreamed of his hands holding her down. She dreamed of surrender and the pleasures it would bring. She ached for his hard touch.

  She finally forced herself out of bed on Sunday afternoon. She was just trying to decide whether to add more hot water to her bath when the doorbell rang. She wanted to ignore the summons but the person on the other side of the door started knocking so she climbed out of the bath and pulled on a robe.